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Unfortunately, heat sets in spaghetti stains, so if you have put them in the dryer they are going to be difficult to get out. Although it is tempting to wash them in hot water, cold will work better. The only other stain treatment that you haven't already tried would be dry cleaning solvent. You could also try placing the stained item in the sink with cold water dripping on the stain. Leave overnight, with the drips falling directly on the stain. This should loosen the stain.
As soon as the stain happens, spray it with a product called Grease Lightning. You can find this product at Walmart. It works all all surfaces and get almost anything out.
Thank you Bonnie! It works. Joy B.7/27/07
I use Simple Green. It also works on everything. And it's biodegradable.
Cold water definitely works best. A long soak is a good idea too.
Thank you SO MUCH! I just received a spaghetti stain because of my clumsy attitude.